Talk

Your favorite brand of mayo versus your favorite movie. One is probably a lot more appealing to discuss than the other, and for most I assume it's the latter.

Think about it. The topic of discussion is the key to a good discussion. Sure, your partner or partners in discussion matter. If I wanted to talk film, I would take Michael Phillips, the Chicago Tribune film critic, over just about anyone else because his expertise is unquestionable and I read his reviews regularly. But if you're about to have a discussion with any random sampling of 10 people on this campus, the topic of conversation will correlate most closely with the liveliness of the conversation, if there even is a statistic that can measure something like that.

When I meet someone, I always go for the most reliable conversation topic I know: that person. It's fairly simple and so effective. The best way to start a discussion with just about anyone is to talk about him or her. What does everyone in the world care about? Himself or herself. People, for the most part, really like themselves. Similarly, people really like to talk about what they really like. If you can be genuinely interested in whatever interests your conversation partner(s), you are in for a good conversation. I think the people you talk to will be at ease, too. I'm certainly not saying to fake interest (see: genuine), but only that if the goal is to find out what others think and to put them at ease for discussion, talking about them is typically a sure bet.

This tends to translate well in the classroom. Ask anyone to supplement their ideas and responses with personal experience, and you are likely to have plenty of hands raised. In our own discussion, the most lively and interactive topics of discussion have been the ones in which we have personal experience. (I've never seen people, myself included, so interested in talking about what they call their professors!) Secondhand experience, like "I have a friend who..." or "I read somewhere...," is great, and I don't want to diminish it, but nothing can replace experiencing or researching something for yourself.

Of course, there are always the quiet ones. The ones who listen intently and fail to contribute out of fear, pride, or feeling like they have nothing worthwhile to contribute. Sometimes, these people just need a personal invitation to join in the conversation. There's nothing wrong with that at first, but I'm not much of a pusher when it comes to anyone who doesn't call me "Mr. Matuch." I want you to be a part of the conversation. I want to hear what you have to say. I just don't want either of those things badly enough to continue to focus my attention on drawing you in. If I'm in a classroom, teaching high school math, and one student just doesn't talk, I'll keep trying different methods to engage. If I'm with people my own age, and one person just wants to sit on the outskirts of the discussion, I don't feel it's necessarily my role to keep yanking them in. Continuing to try to force someone into a discussion of which they want no part makes that person uncomfortable, makes the others who are engaged feel inadequate, and makes me feel tired. Allow me to let my interest in baseball show for a moment: three strikes, and you're out.

Discussion is how a great deal of learning takes place in college. I've learned a lot from talking with people in class and even more from talking to them in other public spaces. An interesting topic is a solid way to start. It's up to you and whoever else to decide where you want it to go. And if they don't feel like talking, you can see if Michael Phillips has some time free.